Paperwhites

Every year, Diana prepares paperwhite flowers as Christmas gifts.

Every year, I hear it as "paper wights."

Dentist

I got crowns installed for my front six teeth; the temps were done a few weeks ago, and today was the day for the permanents. I was half an hour late for my appointment, because it was scheduled for 2pm, but I associate the dentist with "tooth hurty".
When the process was done, she asked if any of the teeth were bothering me, and I replied that the most painful part was paying for them. She said that I could have gotten crowns for a dollar apiece, but nobody ever wants that type, because they're buck teeth.

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

So it could be poultry in motion.

Authors

Since this summer, I have met Larry Correia, Dave Wolverton, and Howard Tayler, and talked with Toni Weisskopf and Mad Mike Williamson. And now, Sarah Hoyt has thrown a carp at me, due to a terrible pun. (I do think that escalated a bit quickly--it was a pun, but she was using a fishonable weapon).

Tattoo

Someone at work has a musical symbol tattoo'd on the back of her leg. It's a treble calf.

The Meaning of Life

A friend asked me "what is the meaning of Life?" So here it is:

"the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally."

Cards

"When you said all you wanted for your birthday was for me to give you a card, I didn't know you meant my credit card."

There's an App for That

Related by one of the Canadian Gamer Mob:

Student: "You look pretty tired."

Kevin: "Yeah, I need to get more sleep."

Student: "There's a nap for that."

Happy Military Day!

March fourth!

European separatists

A comment at Via Meadia:

"If there was only one way for a region / population to leave the EU, you would eventually end up having to break the cardinal rule against putting all your Basques in one exit."

--Bruno Behrend

Muy delicioso

Josh and Tom Paul went to El Taco Loco. TP said the steak was excellent; I pointed out that, being beef, it was moo-y delicioso.

Indians

We were at the beach tonight, waiting for fireworks (scheduled for 10pm, we arrived at 9pm and left at 10:45, no fireworks to be seen). Josh walked a few blocks farther down the boardwalk and said he'd seen a bunch of Indian ladies, sitting the beach, waiting for the fireworks.

Me: "So, they were a sari lot?"

Josh punched me.

Me: "I suppose that was a pun-jab?"

You rock

We had a tough project with a short deadline. I emailed the engineer who was working on it to check whether he would be able to get it done in time. He emailed back that he'd just finished it, and on hearing this news, one of my coworkers said "He rocks!"
So I emailed him back to say "Consensus here is, you rock! I'm just mentioning this in case you feel taken for granite."

Happy Star Wars Day

May the Fourth....be with you.

Bugs

One of the downsides of living in a warm climate is that bugs, including pantry moths, also live in a warm climate. I put out a couple of foggers at noon. When Josh arrived, he asked how Operation Dalek had gone, so I told him "I have successfully deployed weapons of moth destruction."

Funeral rights

When I die, cremate the body and put the ashes in a vase. I think I've urned it.

Nomads in boats

I saw a video of orcas herding a penguin, and looked at the boat trips available for diving off the Great Barrier Reef, and read a little bit about Somali pirates and a bit about nomads. Had this vision of a tribe of sea-going nomads, with their yurts on their boats, following the fish and using dolphins to herd them, wandering up and down the coast. They'd be sea-going Mongols, for all in tents and porpoises.

Pancakes

Diana made pancakes this morning. I pointed out that they were exceptionally fluffy; she told me that was because she had added bacon powder. Mmmmm.....bacon.

Puns

A good pun is its own reword.

All I need is a volcano

A consultant upgraded our phone systems at work a few weeks ago, without telling our IT manager until afterward; since then, several of us have been having problems with our phones. My phone was the guinea pig for the tech who was trying to fix the problem. He poked at it for a while, then said that there was a newer version of the software out, and he was going to uninstall and delete my current one, and then install the new one and hope that would fix it. I said, "So you're going to sacrifice a version?"