Tonight I heroically wrenched a couple of boards from the deck with my bare hands*, trimmed new 2x6's to shape with a nail file**, slammed them into place, and drove the screws four inches through the wood with a quick twist of one fingernail***. Tomorrow morning we'll put the paint / goop on, and that will hold us until we're ready to spend a couple thousand bucks and get the deck rebuilt.
* which happened to be holding a prybar
** and a jigsaw, as my circular saw is balky
*** which was on the trigger of my drill