Thomas Edison, on door handles

Last November, My Wife's Dog discovered how to pull open our sliding glass door so she can get onto the deck. She takes the door handle in her teeth and tugs, opening the door and chewing up the wooden handle. She doesn't do this every day, only when she really gets the urge to go out on the deck--which usually is during a storm.

The first handle got too chewed, so I bought a second one and sprayed it liberally with bitter apple, which the people at the pet store swore would prevent The Mutt from gnawing on the handle. They lied. She had the door open the next day.

So Diana got a third handle. Hot chili oil should work, right? So I wiped down the handle and held it out for The Mutt to sample. She tasted it, licked her chops for a minute, investigated a bit of lettuce on the floor. I expected her to suddenly dive for the water bowl or something, but she came back and started licking the handle again. So..."we haven't failed, we've found 586 ways that don't work."